I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
