bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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