So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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