I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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