did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
