GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
