If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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