Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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