If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
