He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
