Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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