two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
