My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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