lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
