No stitches, just platelets and will power
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
