Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize