If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
