After last night, I could never be a politician.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
