just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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