I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
