May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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