I'm eating all of the evidence.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
