How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize