He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
