fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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