why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
