i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
