Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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