hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
