Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I FOUND THE LEGS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
