Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
