At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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