The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
