He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
