You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
