Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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