We're facebook friends in real life
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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