The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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