I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
