I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize