sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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