Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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