You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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