sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
