Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
