Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
