I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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