I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
