i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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