We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
