is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
