dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize