NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
