i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
