Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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