What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
