I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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