I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
