Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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