If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
