i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Will you blow on my dice?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
