those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I am morally bankrupt
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There r osticjed everywhere
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So much Jack, so little girl.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
