So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize