WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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