Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
