so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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