i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
