just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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