Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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