I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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